LOS ANGELES – Thirty minutes after one of the most chaotic finishes to a postseason series in baseball history, the Phillies’ shell-shocked looks and blank gazes remained. 

Only now the players sat in front of their lockers, many with a beverage in hand. They were no longer glued to the dugout railing where they had just stared in disbelief at the home team emptying onto the field at Dodger Stadium and celebrating near first base. 

That was, after all, where nearly everyone in the building expected the ill-fated throw to go before the Phillies’ season ended in stunning fashion. 

Left for dead after dropping both games at home to start the National League Division Series, the Phillies nearly managed to get it back to Philadelphia. They blitzed the Dodgers’ Cy Young contender, Yoshinobu Yamamoto, in Game 3 to keep their season alive. They had their own Cy Young contender, Cristopher Sánchez, deliver 6.1 innings of one-run ball in Thursday’s Game 4. As the zeroes piled up in a back-and-forth pitchers’ duel, they emptied the tank. They used their star closer in the seventh. They brought in likely Game 5 starter Jesús Luzardo for five outs in extra innings. They pinch-hit their hobbled outfielder, Harrison Bader, hoping to break the stalemate. 

And though their top sluggers failed to build on the breakout they enjoyed the night prior — Trea Turner, Kyle Schwarber and Bryce Harper followed a 7-for-13 performance by combining to go 1-for-14 in Game 4 — they had survived three spotless innings from Dodgers playoff sensation Roki Sasaki to make it into the mess that was the rest of the L.A. bullpen. 

They just needed one more out with the bases loaded to send the game to the 12th, when Dodgers outfielder Andy Pages dribbled a grounder back to reliever Orion Kerkering. The 24-year-old booted it, but Pages was still just halfway to first base when Kerkering retrieved the ball on the infield grass in front of the mound. Still plenty of time. 

Catcher J.T. Realmuto pointed to first, directing the way. 

But panic set in. 

In front of Kerkering, Dodgers pinch-runner Hyeseong Kim barreled toward home: “I ran for my life,” Kim said. 

Kerkering decided to go home with the ball, which sailed high and wide of Realmuto, all the way to the backstop. The Dodgers poured out of the dugout, celebrating their seventh trip to the NLCS in the last 10 years, as the Phillies’ season abruptly went up in flames. 

He put his hands on his knees and looked toward the ground. Many Dodgers players had to run around Kerkering to reach Pages for the celebration at first. 

“Once the pressure got to me, I just thought it was a faster throw to JT,” Kerkering explained. “A little quicker throw than trying to cross-body it to Bryce. Just a horse s— throw.”

The time would come, but in that moment, the macro questions about the state of the Phillies — the direction of the franchise, the fourth straight playoff exit, the impending free agency of team leaders Schwarber and Realmuto and standout pitcher Ranger Suárez — weren’t on the players’ minds. 

“I’m thinking about losing a baseball game,” Realmuto said. “That’s what it feels like right now. The last thing I’m thinking about is next year.”

‘Caught Up in the Moment’ 

All that mattered was another season ending far sooner than anyone expected — and a young pitcher who needed support. Realmuto, who struck a similarly incredulous pose to Kerkering in the immediate aftermath, walked out to his pitcher and patted him on the back. 

“I know he’s probably feeling the weight of the world on his shoulders after that play,” Realmuto said. “Just tried to reassure him that the whole game’s not on him. There were a lot of opportunities for us to win that game.” 

The Phillies mustered just four hits in 11 innings. Tyler Glasnow, a Southern California native who grew up going to games at Dodger Stadium and idolizing Clayton Kershaw, helped keep his childhood team’s hopes for a repeat championship alive with six scoreless frames. 

It was nearly not enough — not the way Sánchez and the rest of the Phillies’ pitching staff were going. 

The only run charged to the Phillies’ star left-hander came after his departure in the seventh inning, when manager Rob Thomson went to closer Jhoan Durán, who walked in the tying run before striking out Teoscar Hernández to keep the game tied at 1. It remained there until the 11th-inning debacle. 

Before Kerkering could retreat to the dugout, Thomson pulled the devastated pitcher aside. 

“Just keep his head up,” Thomson said. “He just got caught up in the moment a little bit. Coming down the stretch there, he pitches so well for us. I feel for him because he’s putting it all on his shoulder. But we win as a team, and we lose as a team.” 

The Phillies haven’t gone to the World Series since 2022. That year, they finished third in the division but still ended a 10-year playoff drought before making an improbable October run, which ended on a Nick Castellanos flyout in Game 6 in Houston. Castellanos remembers that moment well — and how first base coach Paco Figueroa waited for him to walk off the field. 

So he returned the favor to Kerkering on Thursday evening, running in from right field and around the Dodgers’ celebration to get to the visibly shaken pitcher as fast as he could. 

“That was the only thing to do in that moment,” said Castellanos, whose double in the seventh inning off Emmet Sheehan knocked in the Phillies’ only run. “I just told him to keep his head up, and I wanted to be next to him when he walked off the field, to let him know he’s not alone in that moment.” 

There were plenty of others who wanted to send the same message. 

“It means a lot,” Kerkering said. “It shows they care a lot. Just means everything, for sure.”

‘Felt That This Was the Team’

Thirty-seven minutes after the ill-fated throw home, Kerkering emerged in the clubhouse, eyes bloodshot, still in full uniform. He got a hug from Taijuan Walker, and another from Luzardo, who was charged with the loss despite allowing just the one unearned run in 1.2 innings. Matt Strahm, who threw a scoreless ninth to keep the game going, pulled Kerkering over for a lengthy chat. 

“Just gutted for him,” Strahm said. 

At the time, the team was still processing the madness. 

The beers that many of them held in their hands were supposed to be getting sprayed, the way they had in that very same visiting clubhouse just a few weeks prior when the Phillies clinched their second straight division title. 

It wasn’t supposed to end like this. 

Not again. 

“I know we had what it took,” Realmuto said. “We have the talent in this room to win a World Series, and we fell short.”

Each of the last four years, the Phillies have improved their win total. 

But each of the last four years, their October production has trended the wrong way: a World Series appearance in 2022, a loss in seven games in the NLCS in 2023, now back-to-back NLDS exits. 

“I can’t really compare because they all feel just awful,” Thomson said. “I mean, when this happens, it’s like your entire world comes to a stop. It’s just a thud.”

“Deep down in my heart,” Schwarber said, “I felt that this was the team that was gonna do it.”

The Phillies had earned a first-round bye with 96 wins, their most since 2011. Even without ace Zack Wheeler, their rotation was formidable. They had the NL home run leader in Schwarber, the NL batting champ in Turner and an October star in Harper. Their deadline additions solidified the roster. They had the look of a champion, in what could be the last hurrah for this core. 

“Talent can get you to the playoffs,” Castellanos said. “But once you’re in the tournament, it’s completely different. As a whole organization, once we get into the tournament, we’ve regressed over the last four years.”

Before Castellanos turns his attention to the 2026 season, he plans to address his health and a lingering left knee injury that he said will need imaging. He sat in the Phillies clubhouse next to Realmuto long after the final out, for what could be the last time.

As the Phillies packed their things, they said their goodbyes. President of baseball operations Dave Dombrowski traversed the room, shaking players’ hands and offering his thanks. Soon, longer discussions will need to take place. 

Schwarber is about to become one of MLB’s most desired bats. Realmuto will be among the top catchers on the market. 

“I’m not really sure what happens or what goes into this offseason or where we kind of go from here,” Harper said. “But I think obviously those two guys are going to be a main decision for us, a main conversation for us as a team, as a club. I think obviously we love those two guys and want them back.” 

Questions about the manager’s status loom, too.

“It’s out of my control,” Thomson said. “I’m not even thinking about it. I’ve got 60 people in there that are brokenhearted right now.” 

For whatever it’s worth, Turner said he believes “100%” that Thomson is the right guy to lead the Phillies into the future, despite the team’s recent shortcomings. 

“I’ve been blessed with a lot of good managers in my career,” Turner said. “He’s right up there with them. He’s got all the qualities. He keeps it even-keeled all year long. He blends the old school and new school. He’s willing to adapt and change and do different things. I don’t think you could ask for more.”

“I love Topper, man,” Harper added. “He’s done a great job for us. I don’t know what the future holds, I have no idea. I think that’s a Dombrowski question. But obviously we love Topper in here.”

Before exiting the clubhouse, Schwarber went around the room and gave his teammates high-fives. 

Another season ended too soon. 

This time, the specter of change looms. 

“It doesn’t feel good,” Schwarber said, as his eyes began to well up. “You just make a lot of different relationships in the clubhouse, and you never know how it’s going to work out, right? 

“You just make so many personal relationships with guys and you spend how much time with these guys throughout the course of a year, and they become family. Yeah, you just never know how it’s going to go. But these guys all know how I feel about them.” 

Rowan Kavner is an MLB writer for FOX Sports. He previously covered the L.A. Dodgers, LA Clippers and Dallas Cowboys. An LSU grad, Rowan was born in California, grew up in Texas, then moved back to the West Coast in 2014. Follow him on X at @RowanKavner.